Things after 1 am

Now this post can mean very different things for everyone. 

For my mother, if she is still awake, it probably means finishing up whatever conversation she is having and that last glass of wine and going bed. 

For my pregnant sister, it probably means going to the bathroom half asleep and telling her husband when her 1 year old cries, "Can you get him this time?" 

For my brother, it likely means finishing up his beer, or whatever alcohol he has on hand, and debating on whether to watch another episode or "naaah." 

For my other older sister it likely means, waiting for her husband to come from work just so she can say "I love you," to him before she goes to bed. 

And for my father, I assume it means, playing games on his phone at work. (Idk what he does at work but he probably doesn't actually play games. He's a really legit hard worker."  

However, for me, my 1 am is very different.  During the weekdays it can vary, it can mean finishing up that case that is due tomorrow, (I'm a social worker now. I graduated college guys. YAY!) or potentially actually being asleep (on a lucky day, a very lucky day). On weekends it usually means....well on the weekend it usually means bedtime, not gonna lie, or on days like today, it seems to mean being extremely hyper, very awake, and confused as to why I feel no drowsiness at all. 

I used to be up to till 1 am on daily basis. It was my warning time. Like, "Okay, now start relaxing because by 2 am you should probably be asleep." Being up till 1 was nothing. Hell, sometimes the parties didn't really start kicking till 1 am. Now, at 22, I go out with my friends and we finish up our nights by 10:30 pm so everyone go sleep in their own bed. 

I remember after one crazy birthday party of my best friend I didn't even show up till 10 pm and I woke up at 10 am with an hour of sleep because I slept on their couch that everyone else decided to pile on top of me on. Mind you, I lived 5 mins away. 5 walking minutes away. I could have literally stumbled my way back to my own bed. But no, the party was hopping till I think like 9am that day. It was a wild one, but geez. I COULD HAVE WALKED.

Fast forward 3 years: I can't even stand the thought of sharing a bed with my bestie unless I'm drunk. Because I'll have to be drunk enough to pass out without being toooo upset its not my own bed. 

How is 22 so old? 

My 1 am's used to be crazy! 

Or not crazy but at least I saw 1 am and didn't cringe at how far past my bedtime it was.  

Now if I see 1 am on weekend I think "Whoohoo! I made it! This is an okay time for me to passo...ZZZZZZ"  

If I see 1 am on weekday all I can think is, "Shit, tomorrow is gonna suck, this week is gonna suck. I'm going to be so tired. I'm going to eat everything tomorrow. I'm going to get fat. I'll never be thin. I'M SO TIRED!!!"  

^^^I mean come on. Tell me that's not ridiculous. 

Anyway, today I made it till 2  am, or will because its not actually 2 yet, but I will make it I assure you. And my after 1 am experience has been getting lost in youtube (I watched 40 mins of people reading mean tweets) Facebooking...everything....everything I did I Facebooked, annnnnd playing on my phone. I decided to be more productive and instead of working...like I should be....I wrote this. So, ya know. Here's to hoping that this isn't an actual mess written by a sleep deprived sick adult. Did I mention I'm also sick? Sinus infections bruh.  

Gotta say, I don't really miss being up this late anymore. I get to see my nephew in the morning now. And he's the cutest little boy ever so I like to be alert and not an angry lunatic because I hate mornings and didn't get any sleep. 

Pssst-Btw...I made it till 2 am. I might to sleep n...ZZZZ. 

Things to Thank Your Sisters for.

When I was born I was blessed with two lovely older sisters.  Much to their dismay, I grew up to be a snarky, sassy, and quite frankly, a little bit assy little sister. Luckily for me, my wonderful sisters are kind enough to put up with me, still.  So today,while thinking about my sisters, I thought about a list of things I am extremely grateful to them for:

1.) For teaching me things I should already know.  For for times I've called you about because I can't get that stain out of my clothes and Mom isn't answering her phone, again. For those times I've called you because I'm stuck in the snow and can't figure out how to get out, again. For those times my car broke down and I don't know what to do and I'm freaking out, again. For those times I've called you because I need your help making a budget, again.  I'll always be grateful for your endless patience.  I know you both think that you don't have that much, but trust me, your patience with me seems endless and I'm thankful. 

2.) For helping me find my "thing".  Both of my sisters are beautiful in their own right. They have their own personalities and their own particular style, just their own "thing". And unfortunately for my mother I had to also have my own "thing." I had to have my own style, my own clothes, my own makeup style and my own attitude. I wanted to dress differently than my sisters, act differently than my sisters and just be different. I wanted to be me.  And they helped me. They helped me find clothes I like(even if that meant wearing their clothes first), they helped me learn how to put on makeup (something they still have to help me with **see number 1**), they helped me find my interests and supported me when pursuing them. They helped me find me. 

3.) For always making me feel beautiful. Every little sister will always think her sister's are prettier than her.  There have been many times I have called my sisters with many a insecurity, and yet, they always reassure me, that I am pretty, that I am beautiful and that I am gorgeous women.  Those random times you tell me that you, my stylish sister, like my sweater, or that I look pretty in a selfie, or that those random jeans I haven't worn in forever look really good me, yeah I live for those moments, they totally make my day.  

4.) For all the tough love.  Yes, there are times where you make me cry and I get angry and think you're the absolute worst. But I know, deep down, that your right.  That yes, buying that random  thing at that random store with my no money was not smart.  That yes, arguing with a parent about that stupid topic for no reason was a bad choice.  That of course, I need to do this thing more responsibly. Thank you for telling me that that sweater did not look good on my and that my eyeliner was smudged. There are not many opinions I take more seriously than yours.  So when you tell me that I need to get my life together, I know that its true. And thank you.  

5.) For letting me vent to you. I will always be thankful for you letting me vent to you about Mom and Dad, about my job, about my roommate, about my apartment, about my car, about my computer, about my clothes and my...life.  Thank you for listening.  

6.) For understanding me. Thank you for knowing that I need alone time sometimes, even around our family.  Thank you for knowing that sometimes I over think things.  Thank you for knowing that I go from 0-100% freakingoutmylifeisfallingapart in second after a small insignificant thing happens.  

7.) For those times that just really needed my big sister. Thank you for letting me cry to you. Thank you telling me that everything happens for a reason. Thank you being there for me in everything good thing that happens and every bad.  I love you and thank you for being you.